How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize