you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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