I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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