I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
