Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
