We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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