you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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