i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
