Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
