Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
