Im at strip club and am horny
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to calm my uterus...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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