he puts the penis in happiness.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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