you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
