I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize