I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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