i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think my moral compass just broke
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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