i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
