its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
