Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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