Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
