Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
