For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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