In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
