Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
