i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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