All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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