I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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