i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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