Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
