As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
