I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
