he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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