i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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