Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
