why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
