You're earring is so big in my mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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