Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
