'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
