He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
