Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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