somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
