She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
