I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize