Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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