Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
