none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
