The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
