her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize