The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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