you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
