Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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