I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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