Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
only if we run a train.
done.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
