love makes seman taste better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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