if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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