Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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