maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
