I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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