I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
