do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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