dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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