OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
