Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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