the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
