You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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