Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
