I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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