I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize