Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they need to just BURY HIM!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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