wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night