So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."