wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
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therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk