The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.