is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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